The longing- the body awakens (from the long dark night of the soul)

There’s a tiredness in this body. A weariness in these bones. This weariness shivers the skin, cools the tempest of desire. A skin of lethargy envelops every want, need or desire.

There’s an ache for rest or renewal. A glimmer of hope in these. That these might just restore, some fraction of what was..

But even these are out of reach. Rest becomes restlessness. Sleep becomes sleeplessness. All that remains is frustration and agitation in a tense body that refuses to rest. But the body does eventually rest. What it can’t do is receive.

This body is closed around the soul. A soul set deep in ice. Frozen solid. Some may say protected or preserved. But certainly in-penetrable…. Deep deep down.

A soul ….. Buried. Closed in by the bitterness, hatred and hurt, lies deception and deceit. Frozen from the effects of a turbulent life, the pains and joys of life. This soul, encased in ice, and then in a body of blood and bones for further protection. A body that physical, that fights back. A tongue to lash out, arms to for fits and legs to stand or run. This body knows not what else to do. Animalistic, and instinctive.

But this iced soul is a burden to carry. It’s a heavy weight hard to defend. And with each expenditure, comes little or no return. No real rejuvenating rest for this restless weary body, carrying this heavy icy soul.

In time this exhausted body surrenders, this endless carry. The body says it’s fought enough. In this moment there is nothing left for it to fight with; no nourishment or rest can help. Bone tired, these muscles cannot take the weight of this body let alone the heavy soul it carries.

But then there is sound. A shift in a stiring. A little crack of the ice breaks the perspective.

The soul remains encapsulated, protected in its frozen tomb. But this small fracture in its icy encasing let’s in warmth.

The defrost begins from the inside. The frozen soul starts to awaken. What was discoloured and grey begins to pinken . What was lifeless begins to breathe. What was still starts to move, ……..gently, ………slowly ……..and the protective cover is no longer protection but a prison of ice. There’s a great want to crack it all, burst out, be done and be free, but to do so would injure…

Instead, the crack feeds warmth. The crack allows breath, and slowly with a little gentle movement the soul regains space within its icy womb.

Slowly and gently great thaw begins….

And what of the body? It’s still exhausted, weary and bone tired. It’s still lethargic and craves rest. But it also has a sense of hope, a want and need for warmth, and a desire for connection.

But mostly, what of the body? Well, for now it is at least able to receive! Let the unfurling begin…

Images taken by author

Dedicated to The Birchall Trust, Lancaster UK, and all the wonderful work they do..